Winter is the calm after the busy Fall season. It goes by rather quickly. I’m so grateful for that calmness but I like being in the thick of my client work the most. This year however I decided to embrace some personal work a little more for these restless days. The challenge was quite simple ; capture yourself, one image a day for the month of February. I’ve never done anything like this. To be honest I do care about how I’m perceived, I think anyone who says otherwise is just lying to themselves. & honestly this is just screaming I love myself a little too much, for a moment It took on a negative feeling. But when that settled I thought of all of those days when I didn’t love myself, and how l behaved in the moments I lacked self love.
For the first time in my life I truly + completely love every . single. part. of my being. I am intentionally working on not using words like good or bad to describe myself, but what I will say is that anything that I was lacking before is so full to the brim now. Self Portraiture has always been a gift to the artist. These are a gift to me and my children, I know one day not terribly close but in the near future I’ll look different. I’ll feel different. My hope is that my new found compassion for myself only grows.
Today in the middle of my 32nd birth year I am heartbroken, growing, expanding, learning and practicing what I preach. I am a multitude of feelings, I am things I can’t describe yet. Words I can’t find. These images have truly shown me that when I decide to show up for myself great things can happen. While these images may seem ordinary to most there are big connections to parts of me I have or I am in the process of grieving.
I hope you try showing up for yourself
I won’t lie. This has been so hard. I selected the coldest month to do this project, because clearly I don’t think things through enough lol. I just jump right in. That’s me. So I’m desperately thinking of new ways to use my tiny space. Not to mention new ways to see myself. I’m deeply proud of how I’ve stuck with it and I’m now more than half way through this project. It’s so so cool. I have always been the type to lean into the discomfort. & this, the capturing myself daily has been uncomfortable as hell.
I try to close my eyes pop on some Carla Morrison and let inspiration take me where it wants to. I have also let my mind wander, my smiles are genuine, thoughts of my children and other people I love run across my mind and I can’t help but smile and send them light and love always. If you are seeking inspiration in anything I hope you always remember you are always the source of greatness. Start with you today.
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